Below is a drabble I wrote for [ profile] caras_galadhon after one of our many strange conversations. She demanded asked me nicely to post it, so here it is. :) Be warned, it's all crack. (If you prefer to read/comment over on AO3, you can find the drabble here.)

Title: Agreement
Author: [ profile] empy
Characters: Thorin, Boromir
Rating: G (or Z for Zombies)
Disclaimer: The characters belong to the Professor. I'm just scribbling stuff.
Note: written for Galadriel, because she feeds my cracky bunnies.

Read more )
I've seen the film twice so far, once at the midnight premiere at midnight between Tuesday and Wednesday, and once on Thursday. The former in HFR 3D and the latter in 2D.

Right now, I'm too frazzled to attempt a coherent review (and I suck at them anyway), so here's a condensed version: thrilling, funny and dark by turns and really not a lot like the book even if most of what's in there is from some part of the wider canon. This isn't to say I didn't like it, not at all. I can deal with the deviations (that a lot of purists have found very grating - which is okay, they're entitled to their opinion), even if some of them confuse me a little, and I'll do the same thing as I did with AUJ and the LotR trilogy: give them their own place next to the book.

And now, to avoid sounding too serious, some things I loved:
- the visuals. The sets are gorgeous, and the sense of space you get in HFR 3D is amazing. Half of the reason I went to see it again so soon was that I wanted to catch all the little things I missed during the first viewing, which I spent gazing starry-eyed at the spectacle unfolding. *g*
- Mirkwood, particularly the sense of tarnished beauty that's slowly decaying.

... and hell, I didn't even find Tauriel all that annoying.
Title: Storyteller
Author: [ profile] empy
Fandom: The Hobbit (should be compatible with both movie and book)
Characters: Thorin, Dis, Fili, Kili
Rating: G (genfic)
Disclaimer: the characters belong to the Tolkien estate. No infringement is intended.
Note: written as a misfire fill for the [ profile] hobbit_kink kinkmeme and originally posted here. (I intended to write a cracky little fill for a laugh and then this suddenly happened. I don't even.)

Storyteller )
I'm not responsible for this. No, wait, I probably am. If I hadn't said "But why is there no fic where √Čomer is part horse? It'd make sense" when [ profile] caras_galadhon mentioned fics where a member of the Fellowship is part (cuddly/dangerous/both) animal, she wouldn't have written brilliant centaur!Eomer crackfic for me, and it wouldn't have nestled in my brain only to pounce three days later.

It was like my pencil took on a life of its own. *shakes head* This is such crack, but I'm quite satisfied with the technical result. Okay, the scanning eliminated some of the shading, but I can't be bothered with fixing that right now.

What? There are weirder things out there. )

Any and all comments are more than welcome. I'm sane, I swear.
Title: Truce
Author: [ profile] empy
Paring: Aragorn/Boromir
Rating: R-ish
Disclaimer: The characters all belong to the Professor, I only tinker with them and promise to put them back when I'm done.
Notes: I've taken a few crafty liberties with the timeline (hours rather than days), skewing the time of Boromir's arrival in Imladris to be a little earlier.

Written for [ profile] caras_galadhon for the 2007 [ profile] lotr_sesa exchange. Originally posted here.

Truce )
empyreus: (J.R.R.T)


( Dec. 18th, 2007 07:17 pm)

Peter Jackson and New Line Cinema Join with MGM to Produce "The Hobbit"


*dances wildly*
Title: Snow
Author: [ profile] empy
Characters: Faramir, Gandalf
Rating: G
Disclaimer: The characters belong to the Professor, I just play with them.
Note: Written for the "Midwinter" challenge on [ profile] tolkien_weekly. Set long before the Quest.

Snow )
Title: Venetian Heat
Author: [ profile] empy
Fandom: LotR RPS
Pairing: Sean Bean/Viggo Mortensen
Rating: R
Disclaimer: I don't know these people, nor do I know their sexual preferences. This is a work of fiction and not true in the slightest.
Note: Set roughly during the Venice Biennale this year. [ profile] nieninque121 pointed out that while Viggo officially wasn't in Venice then, he wasn't scheduled for any appearances either. *g* And didn't Sean look rather rumpled in most of the pictures?

A small token of my appreciation for the lovely [ profile] caras_galadhon and [ profile] savageseraph on the occasion of their shared birthday. Many happy returns!

Venetian Heat )
I'm posting this here as well, for posterity.

Written for [ profile] cbpotts, for the 2007 [ profile] sons_of_gondor Halloween Trick or Treat Exchange.

Title: Rekindling Hope
Author: [ profile] empy
Pairing: Gimli/Faramir
Rating: PG - PG-13 at most
Warnings: do I need one for interspecies?
Disclaimer: all the characters belong to Tolkien, I merely toy with them.
Feedback: is always welcome.
Note: Movieverse, though a few liberties have been taken.

Many thanks to [ profile] caras_galadhon for her invaluable help and support, and to [ profile] littlemimm and [ profile] tackerama for letting me bandy ideas around.

Rekindling Hope )
Taking a leaf out of [ profile] caras_galadhon's book and posting this here. As some of you know, I'm one of the co-mods (and Wednesday editor) over at [ profile] middleearthnews, and every issue features a mock Classified (written by the editor) among all the news and links. I didn't even think of them as creative ventures until [ profile] caras_galadhon pointed out that they practically qualified as ficlets.

This one was surprisingly easy to write, since certain people made encouraging noises when I came up with the first few lines and then egged me on. I'd recently watched this ad, and I think it's safe to say it influenced this. (Yes, my sense of humour is that puerile. The fact that I've been wading through academic lit on wordplay for the past weeks didn't help, either. *g*)

Any and all feedback is welcome, even if it's just a groan. *g*

Feeling frisky?

Gondor's finest meat market mayhem is held in the Old Guesthouse this weekend. All the manflesh you can handle and more poteen than you can shake a tankard at. Leave your inhibitions at home and join the riotous revelry! Ladies and gentlemen (and not so gentle men) are all welcome, but must notify the arrangers of their arrival due to a limited amount of space available in the Guesthouse. Contact us at

Whether you're hankering for a spit roast or a hand shandy, we will provide it. Perhaps you want to audition your hand puppet or cuddle the kitty? Not a problem. Here, you can go belly-to-belly with old friends and mingle limbs with new acquaintances, and have a bit of sugar stick on the side. For those with an even sweeter tooth, cream pies are available on request. If you crave something saltier, you can always get a bellyful of marrow pudding.

Uphill gardeners will be exhibiting their beanstalks, morning glories and tickle pickles, so you are sure to get an eyeful.

Participants must be at least 21 years of age if Gondorian (on the off chance there are Elves, the corresponding age limit is 50), and pronounced healthy by the Healers. Which way you swing is irrelevant. There will be plenty of swinging this way and that, believe us.

Please use the tradesman's entrance on arrival.

PS: Don't forget the Rohan Roll in the Hay weekend coming up in two weeks! It's a great chance to ride more than a hobby horse, and there will be plenty of rough-and-ready Rohirrim ready to stretch your leather and give you oats.
Title: Shadow Traveller
Author: [ profile] empy
Pairing: Aragorn/Boromir... with a twist.
Rating: R
Disclaimer: the characters and all things Middle-earth belong to the Professor, I only play with them.
Feedback: is always welcome.
Note: dedicated with much love to [ profile] caras_galadhon, who knows why. (Two months to the day! I checked. *g*) The second sentence in the ninth paragraph is from her pen, and I also owe her a debt of gratitude for cheering me on.
Thanks also to [ profile] littlemimm for the quick beta, and to [ profile] tackerama for letting me bandy a few ideas around.

The majority of this story is set in approximately TA 3003-3004. I have taken the liberty of assuming Aragorn visited the White City several times before the War of the Ring and in other guises than that of Thorongil.

Shadow Traveller )
empyreus: (do not want)
( Jul. 31st, 2007 09:59 pm)
Just. What.

That's not my Boromir!

*winces* He looks so... simian. I also suspect his cloak has been lined with an old curtain, that he's wearing jeans and that he's stolen the boots off a drag queen.

Do not want.
(I did this last year, and will reprise it now, as the fic I had thought about posting didn't want to cooperate. Also, I know the date is by Shire reckoning, not Steward's reckoning, but I always realize too late that I've missed the 'proper' date.)

Through Rohan over fen and field where the long grass grows
The West Wind comes walking, and about the walls it goes.
'What news from the West, O wandering wind, do you bring to me tonight?
Have you seen Boromir the Tall by moon or by starlight?'
'I saw him ride over seven streams, over waters wide and grey;
I saw him walk in empty lands, until he passed away
Into the shadows of the North. I saw him then no more.
The North Wind may have heard the horn of the son of Denethor.'
'O Boromir! From the high walls westward I looked afar,
But you came not from the empty lands where no men are.'

From the mouths of the Sea the South Wind flies, from the sandhills and the stones;
The wailing of the gulls it bears, and at the gate it moans.
'What news from the South, O sighing wind, do you bring to me at eve?
Where now is Boromir the Fair? He tarries and I grieve.'
'Ask not of me where he doth dwell-so many bones there lie
On the white shores and the dark shores under the stormy sky;
So many have passed down Anduin to find the flowing Sea.
Ask of the North Wind news of them the North Wind sends to me!'
'O Boromir! Beyond the gate the seaward road runs south,
But you came not with the wailing gulls from the grey sea's mouth.'

From the Gate of Kings the North Wind rides, and past the roaring falls;
And clear and cold about the tower its loud horn calls.
'What news from the North, O mighty wind, do you bring to me today?
What news of Boromir the Bold? For he is long away.'
'Beneath Amon Hen I heard his cry. There many foes he fought.
His cloven shield, his broken sword, they to the water brought.
His head so proud, his face so fair, his limbs they laid to rest;
And Rauros, golden Rauros-falls, bore him upon its breast.'
'O Boromir! The Tower of Guard shall ever northward gaze
To Rauros, golden Rauros-falls, until the end of days.'

(Lament for Boromir, from The Two Towers, book three, chapter 1: "The Departure of Boromir".)

'A broken sword was on his knee. I saw many wounds on him. It was Boromir, my brother, dead. I knew his gear, his sword, his beloved face. One thing only I missed: his horn. One thing only I knew not: a fair belt, as it were of linked golden leaves, about his waist. Boromir! I cried. Where is thy horn? Whither goest thou? O Boromir! But he was gone. The boat turned into the stream and passed glimmering on into the night. Dreamlike it was. and yet no dream, for there was no waking. And I do not doubt that he is dead and has passed down the River to the Sea.'

(Faramir, from The Two Towers, book four, chapter 5: "The Window On the West".)
empyreus: (A fair and noble face)
( Feb. 23rd, 2007 12:40 pm)
Oh BBC writers, how you fail today.

It takes roughly three seconds to look at a map of Middle-earth and notice that it's Rohan, not Rohirrim. Argh.
Title: Deception
Author: [ profile] empy
Characters: Boromir, Faramir
Rating: G
Disclaimer: The characters belong to Professor Tolkien. I merely play with them.
Note: a rather free interpretation of the "Surface" challenge on [ profile] tolkien_weekly.

Deception )
Title: Playing It Safe
Author: [ profile] empy
Pairing: Marton/Craig
Rating: R
Summary: All good things come to he who waits.
Disclaimer: I don't know these people or their sexual preferences. This is fiction and lies.
Thanks: to the lovely [ profile] msilverstar for the last-minute beta.
Note: I took a few liberties with the schedules (wardrobe fittings and such) and nearby bars, but hopefully this doesn't mar the reading experience.

Written for [ profile] littlemimm for the 2006 [ profile] slashababy challenge.

Playing It Safe )
And here comes the pasted-in fic. :) Sorry in advance for the spam.

Title: Silver Rain
Author: [ profile] empy
Pairing: Elladan/Haldir
Rating: PG-ish
Disclaimer: the characters belong to JRR Tolkien, I merely play with them.
Note: written for [ profile] talullahred for the [ profile] lotr_sesa 2006 fic exchange.

Silver Rain )
Aaack. I was so late with this one it isn't even funny. Hopefully don't the arrangers won't flay me alive for posting this here before it's been archived over at the FaramirFiction archive.

Title: In Dreams
Author: [ profile] empy
Pairing: Boromir/Faramir
Rating: PG-13/R-ish
Warnings: the pairing should give you a hint. *g*
Disclaimer: the characters belong to Professor Tolkien, I merely play with them.
Feedback: Is always welcome.

Note I: Bookverse. I have considered the trothplighting in Meduseld to be a promise of a wedding, and instead set the 'actual' wedding in Minas Tirith. Hopefully this doesn't cause confusion.
Note II: Written for [ profile] kimberleigh_ for the Faramir Fiction Archive's Midwinter Swap. She asked for "Boromir comes to Faramir on the eve of his wedding to Eowyn. Either in a dream or as a ghost. Smutty is good, as is a bit of angst, but please don't make them drown in the emo", and I hope I haven't made this too sad or too sappy.

In Dreams )
Gah. Boromir's death makes me cry just as much every time. *dissolves*

'What news from the North, O mighty wind, do you bring to me today?
What news of Boromir the Bold? For he is long away.'
'Beneath Amon Hen I heard his cry. There many foes he fought.
His cloven shield, his broken sword, they to the water brought.
His head so proud, his face so fair, his limbs they laid to rest;
And Rauros, golden Rauros-falls, bore him upon its breast.'
'O Boromir! The Tower of Guard shall ever northward gaze
To Rauros, golden Rauros-falls, until the end of days.'

(Nelonen is showing FotR, can you tell?)


RSS Atom

Most Popular Tags

Powered by Dreamwidth Studios

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags