I've decided to sit [livejournal.com profile] yuletide out this year, and it already feels weird. This would have been the ninth year in a row, so it does sting a little, but I realized that I just don't have the time or the energy (fannish or otherwise) to do it justice this year. It feels like I'm already running on fumes.

I may end up participating in Yuletide Madness, though.

This post almost ended up beginning with the words "I fail at updating", but then I decided against stating the obvious. *g* I'm still here and I read my Flist almost daily, I've just slipped into lurker mode. I have at least one fic I should get around to posting, but somehow I never manage to get it done. Oh well, one fine day. :) Preferably before the holidays, unless the DDOS attacks continue.

Speaking of the holidays: it's the 4th of December and there's still no snow here. None. There've been a few flurries, but the snow has always melted away during the day. I can't remember the last time this happened, or the last time the autumn was so unseasonably warm - there's barely been any night frost. Instead, we've had dense mist and endless rain, and while the mist is quite beautiful (particularly when paired with the first light of a sunrise), it feel all wrong. The lack of snow is also making the lack of light more apparent. We're down to roughly five hours of daylight, and without snow to reflect the light, the days seem even shorter and more depressing. It's dark when I go to work and dark when I get home, and since I sit with my back to the window, I don't even see the light during the day. Meh.
empyreus: (ill)
( Aug. 13th, 2011 09:56 am)
It seems all my updates this year are along the lines of "Sorry about the month-long posting break, I'm still here." :/

I *am* still here, I just fail at updating. And fannishness. For the last two months, I've been feeling sort of adrift. Not quite cut off from anything, just... I don't know, floating around. Work-sleep-work-sleep-work, with little energy for anything else. I'm finding it hard to focus (which I suspect is caused by not sleeping enough) and apparently my body isn't amused by the strain either. My blood pressure was horribly high the last time I had it measured (this Thursday), and even though I suspect it was caused by all the screwups that happened at work that day, I suspect it's higher than it should be even on calmer days. My memory is suffering, too, and I keep having moments of "Wait, what the hell was I going to do next?" and "I swear there was something I needed to do, but I can't remember what it was".

The worst thing is that I feel even less social than usual, but mainly because I'm so tired. Meh.
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In list format, because I am lazy.

- No work today, thank heavens.

- There was snow when I staggered up at half past ten this morning (got home at 2.30 am after spending the day with [livejournal.com profile] littlemimm and [livejournal.com profile] tackerama), but some of it has melted now.

- I'm irrationally irritated with a person (no one on my Flist, mind) right now and want to tell them they're an idiot.

- I still haven't finished the report, because I keep adding and deleting parts of it and avoiding the trickier theory.

- I feel vaguely feverish and lethargic, and I have a thousand things I should have done already.

In nicer and more fannish news: I have to pimp the fic I got for the [livejournal.com profile] sons_of_gondor Halloween Trick or Treat Exchange, because it's fantastic. It's called Pozhaluysta, and it's Sean/Viggo with a liberal lashing of Russian. *fans self* Go read it, it's hot and gah and I can't really phrase how much I like it. :) I have a feeling the writer is someone on my Flist, judging from the clever use of Russian. (Mind you, figuring out I have a thing for languages isn't exactly rocket science. *g*)

I have a feeling it's clear as day which fic I wrote for that challenge. My style tends to be rather obvious. *g*
empyreus: (ill)
( Nov. 29th, 2006 06:16 pm)
Could someone please put me out my misery?

I think I'm running a slight fever, because I feel cold and far too fuzzy in the head today. (Granted, I fell into bed at about a quarter past two last night/this morning, but I slept until nine, so it's hardly a lack of sleep.) Everything, be it typing up a newsletter or going through sociolinguistics notes for the exam tomorrow or making coffee, seems extraordinarily difficult at the moment. My brain responds to commands at roughly the same speed as a frozen prawn.

Bah. And I can't even curl up on the couch and sleep, because I need to study (and make notes for challenge fic and prepare portfolios for two different courses and...). Do not want.
Damn, I'd forgotten how cold I always feel after giving blood in winter. Must be the temporary anemia. Apart from the cold bit, everything went fine, and I was gratified to note that my haemoglobin is back up to its normal high levels. (Mine generally is rather high, 145+.) The RC nurse was a bit shocked by how fast the blood flowed when she'd got the needle in (140ml/min as opposed to the normal 80ml/min), and had to loosen the tourniquet twice, but the flow evened out after a minute or so. The nurse who wrapped my arm was a bit brutal, though, and wrapped the crook of my arm so tightly the hand started looking purple-tinged ten minutes later. (I actually have photographic evidence of this. My fingers look particularly scary in the second one.)

There's a huge bunch of challenge fics I need to get around to reading, but I'm too busy. Wah. (And [livejournal.com profile] caras_galadhon, I know I owe you email. :) I'll send it as soon as I've tracked down the files.)

The weather has turned cold and snowy again, and since I already linked pictures earlier on, I see no reason not to picspam you again. (Just tell me if you're sick and tired of the pictures, you lot. *g*)

Rowan branches   Winter sky   Wintry street
(Click etc.)


I want to go to bed already, even though it's only half past ten in the evening. Stupid body. *grouches*

(As for the subject line: I did last time.)
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I feel awful. My nose is slightly less stuffy (though only very slightly less stuffy), but I've been coughing so much both my throat and my sternum (!) are sore. The cough syrup I've been taking seems to have the wrong effect, as it only makes me cough more. It's supposed to be for dry cough*, which I think I have, and it's helped in the past, but this cough will have none of it. Bah. I also keep sneezing, and it's rather unpleasant when you're all blocked up. What's worse, I can't use nasal spray to unblock my nose, because it irritates my nasal lining terribly and makes it feel like I'm about to sneeze all the time. Surely you know the feeling: that burn in your nose that makes you draw short deep breaths in the hope of bringing on the sneeze that's hiding just behind your sinuses. Interesting dilemma, that: either keep sneezing and sniffling, breathing laboriously through one unblocked nostril, or use nasal spray to feel like you're about to sneeze all the time and to be forced to blow your nose every thirty seconds.

Yesterday, I emailed the lecturer responsible for the exam and told her I can't attend it. I think it's better that I rest, because in my current state, I doubt I'd be able to produce anything coherent. My head feels all stuffy, both literally and figuratively, and focusing on anything is a bit difficult. I also wanted to show some consideration for my fellow students, as they'd probably go mad after having to listen to me coughing my way through the exam and blowing my nose every five seconds. EtA: [livejournal.com profile] littlemimm (who took the same exam) talked to the lecturer on my behalf and reported that there'll probably be a retake in November. I don't know if that'll be the third one or if she means to schedule one only for me. (The retake in November would be the second and last one, and it would annoy me if I had to attend that one, as I would have to pass directly. However, based on what Mimm said about the questions, it shouldn't be all that difficult.)

I also emailed my interpreting teacher to say I can't do the presentation because my voice is so raspy and because I keep coughing. Hopefully, she'll see the email before the lecture, as I know she was away yesterday and probably didn't check her email. Son of EtA: She saw the email before the lecture, and we rescheduled the presentation. I'll be doing it next week.

At any rate, I think she'll understand, because she's an interpreter and knows that if your voice goes, you're screwed. I also told her on Tuesday that I'd do the presentation provided my cold didn't get worse and/or affect my voice. As you can see, it did both, with bells on. All I need now is a fever, which I suspect might be lurking around the corner. My hands and feet are ice cold, but I feel uncomfortable in that slightly feverish way. Grr, why is my thermometer hiding? I need it.

*It's beginning to turn raspy, though, and as I typed this, I had a rather painful coughing fit that left me feeling like someone had just scrubbed the underside of my sternum with steel wool. Gah. I really don't need this.
empyreus: (ill)
( Sep. 27th, 2006 05:56 pm)
What I thought was a mildly annoying case of the sniffles has turned into a nose-like-a-tap cold. I'm coughing a bit less, but the runny nose is annoying the hell out of me. And what's worse, my voice is getting more and more hoarse.

I really don't need this. I have a presentation on Friday morning, plus an exam directly after it, then a discussion-heavy lecture, so I can't afford losing my voice or getting ill. Judging by how I feel now, even attending tomorrow's LSP lecture seems like a less than pleasant prospect. Also, I wonder how I'm going to be able to sit the exam without pushing my fellow students to the breaking point by sniffling, sneezing and coughing all the time.

Blah. I need tea.

*makes a nest of blankets*
*curls up*
I feel like I've been run over. Rarely has the pre-set mood "drained" fit me so well.

I gave blood today, as there had been a call for donors of my type (which, incidentally, is the most common one). Fine, nothing strange about that. My body handles it well, and I've never even been borderline anemic. I'd suspected that my hemoglobin count might have been a little lower than usual, as I've been stressing at work a lot, but I wasn't prepared for it to be this low. No, it wasn't dangerously low, and I was in the clear when it came to donating, but it's never been this low before. The nurse suggested I take a longer break now, just to let my body recuperate, and that I actually take the iron supplements I'd been handed in the past. Being the perfectionist that I am, I felt disappointed. Yes, I can and do berate myself for the fact that my iron levels aren't super-fine and dandy. I'm obviously a bit hard on myself.

The mere thought of going to the Italian lecture in this state makes me want to laugh. I can't. My muscles are still sore from the massage yesterday, and that general fatigue coupled with the mild blood loss makes me feel all wobbly and awkward. It's like my body is the wrong size, too big and flailing and difficult to control.

Urgh. I think I'll go lie down for a while. My hands are a bit clumsy and I feel uncomfortably light-headed. Argh, why does my body act up now? In the past, I've always felt fine after donating.
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Well, this is certainly one hell of a way to start a week. I woke up at half past three in the morning, feeling nauseous and disoriented, and my stomach was aching. I staggered up, feeling rather like someone had just punched me hard in the gut, and tried to drink some water. Bad idea. I held it down for maybe ten minutes, then it came back up again.

I texted my boss at around half past five, saying I was unable to come to work, then called her half an hour later to check it was okay. (I sounded awful on the phone: my voice was raspy and there was an inappropriate single hiccup in the middle of a sentence.) It was, as long as I could come to work normally tomorrow. I'm rather sure I can, provided this ickiness doesn't last until the evening.

I get these fits from time to time, and I have no idea what causes them. The symptoms don't really fit any of the bigger gastrointestinal crises (appendicitis, gastritis, gall stones), but they're harsh enough to leave me bed-ridden for the day. My stomach aches, the ache centring about a hand's-width below my sternum; I have chills and dizziness, plus I can't keep anything except water down properly. It'll pass in a few hours, but until then, I can't really do much else than lie curled up and ride out the pain. (I typed this entry in two parts, actually, as I had to go lie down about halfway through. Ack.)

I feel a bit better now, the pain having diminished to a dull gnawing with occasional sharp stabs, but I'm still very dizzy and weak and my feet are freezing even though it's 24 degrees centigrade inside. The most annoying thing is that I'm beginning to feel hungry despite the stomach upset, and I'm not sure I can keep anything solid down. Hmm. Strong sweet tea might work, though, so I think I'll try that now.
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The reason I only got around to posting about my Slashy Valentine fic now is that I spent most of the day (13.45-18.03) at the health centre, waiting to see a doctor. I'd been feeling a bit under the weather, as previous posts attest, but I put it down to stress. Yesterday, I felt worse, and there was this strange pressure at the back of my head. I dismissed it as a result of the back and neck pain, even though my temperature was a bit higher than normal. I reasoned that my back would feel better if I slept without a pillow, and so I threw the pillows out before going to bed. Bad move. I woke up at a quarter to seven after about six hours of sleep, and was in the awful state where my throat was so sore and dry that I had to get up to drink something warm, all while my body refused to wake up. Upon getting up, I promptly hocked up yellow phlegm. Mmm. My head felt like it was made of concrete and my eyes were blurry from fatigue, and when I took my temperature, I saw that I had a fever. Bloody brilliant. I shuffled into the kitchen, made myself a kettleful of ginger throat tea and had about a pint's worth of it. That soothed the sore throat, but I still felt like I'd been run over by a Corellian freight cruiser. I didn't feel better after several hours' worth of rest, so I called my father and asked him if he could take me to the health centre, because I suspected there was something in my sinuses. Long story short, there was. I was diagnosed with a sinus infection and packed off with a week's worth of cephalexine.

The worst thing about the four and a half hour wait was the boredom. I'd (naively) assumed it would be a fairly quick visit, and so I only grabbed my wallet, my keys and my phone. I could have murdered for pen and paper, since I got several story ideas while I slouched on the uncomfortable couches in the waiting area. Oh well, I still remember most of them.

(A strange thing happened while I was waiting, though. I ran into an acquaintance of mine, who was there with her son, and her first comment after the mandatory "So what's wrong with you, then?" question was "You've become awfully skinny.". Erm, what? Sure, I lost weight due to stress last fall, but I wouldn't call myself awfully skinny at all. *shakes head* And there are more polite ways of saying things like that, really.)

I just want to curl up and sleep, but my neck hurts and I can't really sleep on my side like I'm used to, since it makes me horribly dizzy when I sit up. Argh.


In other, less bacteria-ridden news: I hope my [livejournal.com profile] slashyvalentine author doesn't think I didn't like my fic, because I do. I do, I do, I do. *cuddles fic* It's Craig/Marton (omg) and called Honeymoons and Adulteries and you should just go read it now.
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Dear old piece of junk computer,
please stop acting like an arse and freezing up every five seconds when I try to print something. I only hooked you up so I could print these transparencies (which I need for a presentation on interpretation today), and I don't think that's too much to ask. Sure, you're running Win98 which in itself is about as stable as a Saint Vitus-afflicted unicyclist in an earthquake, but six pages shouldn't be an impossible task. I can't help that the still-functioning printer is so old XP can't handle it.
No love,
me.

In other news:
It's as though I can't quite concentrate on anything right now, and I haven't read any fic of late, nor have I read fiction that isn't related to my B.A. I haven't written anything either, but luckily I only have one Valentine's challenge, and wonder of wonders, I actually have an outline-ish thing for it. (Vocab, people.)

I need to figure out if I can take the basic Norwegian and Danish courses this spring, seeing as the interpretation class I'm currently taking also includes interpretation from Danish and Norwegian. (Yes, I'm interpreting from languages I have never studied.) Sure, I understand both fairly well, thanks to being fluent in Swedish, but it's just not enough. I also need to hunt down the lists for the Latin course I signed up for, because there's been no word on whether or not the rumour* of overbookings is true. Aaaand then there's the Russian course I'm currently taking, the one which continues to slap me around. *sigh* I would have loved to take the crash course in Icelandic language and culture, but I haven't got the time or, quite frankly, the linguistic capacity to add another language to the four I am or will be studying this spring. (Norwegian, Danish, Russian and Latin. Yeah. Masochistic much?)

In an attempt to hold on to any remaining shreds of sanity, I've been watching seasons one and two of the UK version of Whose Line Is It Anyway, and it's helped somewhat. John Sessions owns my black little soul, and Sandy Toksvig and Josie Lawrence are brilliant.


*Rumour had it interest exceeded capacity, and apparently some people who signed up were dropped.
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Blargh. I feel spectacularly crappy right now. I suspect I caught a chill yesterday while biking home from [livejournal.com profile] mimm_'s place. The weather was foul (and it still is): horribly windy with rain lashing down at irregular intervals. The snow melted away as the weather got warmer, and that is causing the windiness, I suspect. I can hear the windowframes creak, and if I strain my hearing a little, I can hear the line of the neighbour's flagpole clatter. It's a right bitch to bike in this weather, and yesterday, I literally had to lean into the wind to avoid falling over. Thank heavens it was dark, because I must have looked like a right idiot: I'd lean my upper torso into the wind and my bike in the other direction. As in "torso, left - bike and lower body - right".

My throat is scratchy and sore*, my hands are ice cold even though I'm wearing a woolly jumper and my head feels fuzzy. I suspect it's only a question of time before my nose starts running, too. *sigh* I really don't need this right now. Besides, I'm generally the annoying healthy person who doesn't get any of the strains of winter colds. Bah. Must keep drinking warm fluids, even though they don't seem to help the scratchiness. (Send athelas!) If this keeps up, I'll sound like Tom Waits tomorrow.

I think I'll curl up under a blanket and watch some Sharpe. Yeah. That sounds like a plan.

(* I wonder if I've caught an LJ bug off [livejournal.com profile] caras_galadhon, as she complained not two days ago of a sore throat.)
Feeling rather blah and tired at the moment. My eyes feel like they're made of lead, and there's the beginnings of a headache knocking gently at the inside of my skull just above my left eye. I don't know if it's because I'm hungry (however, I don't feel hungry right now), dehydrated (doubt it) or just tired. If the headache doesn't let up in an hour or so, I might give fencing practice a miss tonight. I'm patently useless with an epeé if I'm fuzzy in the head, and I'd rather not get stabbed by some over-enthusiastic newbie. (Please don't get me wrong, the newbies are very nice, all of them, but they haven't learned to control the blade quite yet.)

I've been a bit sleepy all day, and the last hour of the Russian lecture was a bit hard to follow because of the mild headache. Not impossible, mind, just difficult.

Speaking of Russian: we got the results of the exam, and I passed it with a good grade. W00t. The teacher ended up reading out the names of the people who had passed (and were allowed to continue) because she'd neglected to tell us that the results had been posted on the Kielipalvelu noticeboard (which is on the ground floor, whereas the Russian lectures are held on the fourth floor). There was drama, of course, as a pair of loudmouthed fuckwits found out that a) they hadn't passed, and b) there wouldn't be a retake because the test was a level exam, not a regular end-of-course exam. They started protesting loudly and whining about how unfair it was that there had only been one exam on a set date, turning a completely deaf ear to the lecturer's patient reminder that the exam date had been set at the very first lecture and that the procedure was no different from other level exams. I fought the urge to turn to the whiners and mime playing the world's smallest violin, because really. It's one thing to be disappointed that you haven't passed an exam, but it's quite another to piss and moan and round it off by swearing at the lecturer (oh yes, a full set of Finnish invectives was delivered) before storming out of the lecture hall. Wankers.

*sigh* I still need to finish a frame translation of the text we'll be using during the interpretation excercises tomorrow. And it's politics again, something I'm no good at. Head, meet desk. I believe you know each other already.
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